What to do When Life Doesn’t Turn Out the Way You Planned
We’re told to make plans, have goals, write those goals down and then do everything we can to achieve those goals, like our sense of self and value as a human are tied to achievements and success. Planning is wise, and having goals helps us to grow in life, but no one really talks about what to do when your plans for life don’t turn out the way you thought they would, especially when you’re trusting God for a breakthrough and you’re faced with delays or, even worse, closed doors.
Disappointment can feel like prison chains, keeping you bound and destroying any confidence that you managed to build up along the journey of life. It’s easy to get stuck in disappointment, growing bitter and angry at the world, and at God. As believers, we can fall into the trap of thinking that, because God is for us and He is good, we will never face disappointments or trials, but, unfortunately, that isn’t true.
In John 16:33 Jesus said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Jesus is telling us that we will face trials and trouble in this world, because the world is not a perfect place, but that with Him, and through Him, we will have victory, because He has overcome it all for us.
So, we know that, with Jesus, we will have victory over every trial and struggle that we’ll ever face, but what do we do while we are waiting for the victory? What do we do in the in between, faced with the bitter sting of disappointment, feeling very far away from our victory? How do we make it through another day without seeing any changes to our situation?
Thank God that He gives us the answers to all these questions through His Word. I need this just as much as you do, fellow believer, because I’m facing this struggle in my own life right now. Let’s learn what to do when life doesn’t turn out the way we planned, together, through God-given, living Scripture.
1. Worship Through the Storm
Psalm 34:1
I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
Experiencing disappointments and failures in life can feel like navigating a small fishing boat through rough seas, with waves that tower high above you. The storm feels like it’s going to swallow you whole and everything falls into chaos. Nothing makes sense, you had a plan, worked hard and trusted for your breakthrough, but the door didn’t open. The success you were expecting was replaced by failure and confusion.
Storms of disappointment in life are unavoidable. They come for us all, and we all fail at something at one point or another, after all we’re only human. Fear of failure and perfectionism are unrealistic expectations that we put on ourselves, thinking that if we experience failure, we are a failure. Feelings of defeat, inadequacy and bitterness that come from failure can keep you trapped in the storm.
This Praise and Worship Song by Seek First Worship on YouTube is a beautiful declaration full of hope and praise to sing to the Lord when you’re facing storms of disappointment in life.
Praising and worshiping God for His goodness and blessings in your life, even when life feels heavy and confusing, is the answer to getting through the storms of life without drowning in defeat. When we take our eyes off of the towering waves and focus on the God that is carrying us through the storm, we are filled by an overwhelming sense of peace. We know we won’t drown, because our Saviour walks on water.
He will lift you out of defeat and make your path straight again. He has a plan and a purpose for every storm we face, and He works it all for our good! He will give us the strength we need to get back up again. Let His praise be continually on your lips, as you give God all the glory and worship Him through every storm!
2. Look for the Joy
There is joy to be found every day, through every circumstance, you just need to look for it. God is so good to us, He leaves small gifts of joy all around us. The songs of the birds, sunshine after a long, dark winter, cozy moments by the fire with our loved ones. Even enjoying a long, hot shower is a blessing that most of us take for granted.
Slow down and take notice of the small joys and blessings that surround you. This is especially important when we’re facing a season of hurt and disappointment, because if we aren’t careful, we can easily fall into the trap of self-pity and bitterness. Our flesh, and the enemy, want us to focus on what we don’t have, instead of what we do.
Nehemiah 8:10
Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
Force yourself to acknowledge the joys in your life, when all you feel is disappointment, write them down, even if you can only find one thing to be grateful for. Change your perspective, and little by little, your joy will begin to feel greater than your bitterness, and you will feel the strength of God to get back up, and try again. The joy of the Lord is your strength!
3. Allow the Fire to Refine You
When God allows us to go through seasons of struggles, closed doors or delays, He is using it all to strengthen us and grow us to become more like Him. It isn’t when everything is going our way, and life is smooth sailing, that we see the most growth. We learn the most when the seas are roughest.
There is always a purpose for everything we experience in life. Nothing is ever wasted. Even when it seems like nothing is shifting in our situation, or when we try our hardest, but don’t make it, God is using it for our good. There is always a deeper reason for God allowing struggles and disappointment in our lives.
Zechariah 13:9
This third I will put into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold.
They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.’”
John Bevere from The Father’s House church has a brilliant sermon on YouTube called Refined by Fire, if you’d like to watch and learn a little bit more about how God uses the trials and struggles of life to refine us.
God is refining us in the fires of life, building our character and creating perseverance within us, every time life doesn’t turn out the way we planned. He is teaching us to build our foundation on Him, and His unfailing love. Jobs, friends, money and, status are all fleeting. They can be taken away from us in an instant, but God’s love for us will never fail.
If we build our foundation on success, the way the world teaches us to, we will crumble and fall as soon as we face a challenge, but with God as our foundation, we will be able to withstand any storm life throws at us. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus when life seems to be falling apart, and let Him give you beauty for your ashes.
4. Trust God and Do Good
During times of disappointment, delay or closed doors, our minds tend to be focused on our situation, our needs and what we want in our lives. The problem with this, is that God calls us to serve others and do good while we wait on Him to provide our breakthrough.
Psalm 37:3
Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Psalm 37:3 tells us to trust God with what we’re waiting for, but rather than hyper-focusing on our situation, we should do good and serve others, while we wait. There are people out in the world that need upliftment, encouragement and help with things that you’ve been equipped to help with. Serve others and take your mind off of your circumstances.
Think of something every day that you can do for someone else. Small acts of kindness go a long way, and can change someone’s whole day. Whether you make a cup of coffee for your spouse, smile at a stranger, pray for someone who needs prayer, or help pay a bill, your acts of serving will spread the love and joy of the Lord. Help make life a little better for the people that surround you, while you trust God to work in your own life. When you do this, you focus on what really matters, loving God and loving people. You will reap a harvest, if you don’t give up, and you continue to do good, while you wait on the Lord.
5. Believe That God is Doing a New Thing
Isaiah 43:19
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
When things don’t work out how you planned in life, it can feel like you’ve been thrown into a wasteland in the wilderness. It feels like you’re in a small boat trying to survive the crashing waves of rough seas, with no paddle, and no wind in your sails. You don’t know what to do next, or which direction to take, because what you planned didn’t work out, so what if nothing ever works out again?
God is doing a new thing in your life and if you need some extra motivation and faith-building, check out this sermon by Steven Furtick on YouTube, where he talks about God bringing new things into your life, even when things seem confusing.
Do no fear, fellow believer, God is making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. He is doing a new thing in your life and in your soul. Things may not have gone the way you wanted them to, but God will use the disappointments and closed doors to re-direct you to something new; something better than you could ever imagine!
Closed doors are just as much of a blessing in our lives, as open doors are, because God uses them to guide us towards His plans, even when it feels like none of our plans are working out. God already knew every failure, disappointment, delay and struggle you would ever face, even before you were born. He has it all planned and figured out. When you face a trial, he already has the way out. When a door closes for you, He is already working behind the scenes to open another, better door.
We are His children, and He loves us with a never-ending love, which means He has wonderful plans for each one of us, filled with His goodness. God is doing a new thing, it’s time to let go of the hurt of what didn’t work out, and trust Him and His good plans for your future.
Life throws us all curveballs of failure, struggles and disappointments, and all of us face times in life when things don’t work out the way we planned, but we don’t have to get stuck in defeat and bitterness. We can overcome these seasons with God’s help. When we worship God and give Him praise, instead of complain about how it didn’t work out, we focus on glorifying our Father and take our eyes off the storms around us.
Look for the blessings in your life and the small joys that God brings you every day. Change your perspective and trust that God is using the struggle to grow you and develop your character. Do good and serve others while you wait for God to do a new thing in your life. He will bring good out of every situation, because He is good, and He loves you! Get back up again, stand firm in your faith, and move forward in victory.
